Spring break lead me to taking a break from doing blog entries last week. The joys of having all 3 kids home all day long left me with barely a minute alone on the computer to gather my thoughts. Tomorrow the hubby and I and our oldest head off for our second family counseling session. I have debated over and over again in my mind if I should include the other children in this. If you only knew the debates I have in my head during the course of a day!
I have been thinking from time to time that to my other two "normal" children, it isn't quite fair how they kind of get looked over. We can't simply all decide at the last minute to go run to the store or anyplace for that matter. Most things need to be planned enough in advance so that my oldest can adjust mentally to the idea that we are deviating from the schedule of the day he has in his mind. There have been many times over the past oh 5 or 6 or 8 years that my two youngest children have had to be told. Mommy can't help/talk/listen to you right now because I am dealing with your brother. For hours at a time sometimes. With a few exceptions Spring Break was fairly smooth sailing. We started off rough and then we had very little problems the rest of the week. As I am trying to figure out how to be a better parent to my Autistic child I also need to remind myself that I need to learn to be a better parent to my other children as well. I hate admitting this but there are times when I referee as a parent I do tend to "favor" the autistic child in hopes of preventing a meltdown. My other son has noticed his brother melting down and will comment with a "oh great there he goes again" or "fine have it so you don't xyz". As I have said many times before we are really just in the beginning stages of our journey. I need to remind myself that my other children are part of this journey as well.
I'm sure you have considered this, but it's worth to say: have you planned one on one "date" with your kids? e.g. one day go out with Kyle to do something he likes, the other two kids could be with nanna or with daddy (if he does not go with you and the kid you have the "date" with), then another day with the other kid, etc... and talk to them and thank them for their patience (the day date is not a bribe but a thank you and an opportunity to spend time with them) and help.
ReplyDeleteI was going to suggest the same as above. My mother used to do this and none of us has Autism, just a lot of kids... It is hard though even if your children are far apart in age. My daughter was 15 when my son was born. She felt like we catered to her brother most of the time.
ReplyDelete