Searching for Home

As I am starting this blog I have pondered what direction it would take.  I am not the sort of person who likes to be pigeonholed or labeled.  I could write for days about the daily struggles of having a child with autism.  But I am not an autism expert.  Far from it.  I have also decided to be a more positive person and don't want the tone of this blog to be negative.  So today I thought maybe this time I would take you back into my past a little. 

I have never felt settled.  Pretty sure this stems from my childhood.  Growing up on average I would say my family moved about every two years.  I was born in the desert in California but spent most of my early childhood in Washington State.  After about 3 towns there we meandered our way to small town Missouri.  Once again, after about 3 towns, we moved states again.  Oklahoma was a long stay for my family.  I managed to spend 3 1/2 years in one school.  I then was able to spend 2 years in the area in college.  I was almost feeling like an Oklahoman. 

After my sophomore year of college my parents were on the move again.  Back to California.  Boy was I happy to be back on the West Coast.  Sadly what followed were two very dark years.  I could tell my parents were getting the itch to move again.  At 22 I had no hometown.  No roots anywhere.  Two of my siblings has settled back in Missouri.  So one day we packed up a car and I headed back to Mid Missouri.

Missouri is where I put down roots.  I married a man who had never lived more then 45 minutes away from his hometown.  We bought a house in the same small town that my parents abandoned Washington state for.  I had my children there.  From time to time I would bring up the adventure of moving to my husband.  He would just shake his head and  that would be the end of it. A decade passes.  After certain situations we went from a fairly comfortable life to not being able to make it without help.  It is almost almost a year to the day that my husband lost his job.  We were struggling with it.  Without it we were desperate.  I was working full time but supporting a family of 5 on about 20,000 a year is painful.

Then one day my husband got an opportunity.  He would bring home double what I was.  The only catch.  The job was all the way in Texas.  What was ironic was we were going to be able to live in the same area that my parents had retired to.  My husband is not one for change or risk.  So it shocked me when he seriously started to consider moving.  As of June 2012 we became Texans.  Now comes the mommy guilt.  I had been able to give my children what I had never had.  A hometown.  Roots.  For many reasons the move has been good for our family.  There have also been draw backs.  My husband is longing for home.  As we come upon 10 months here in Texas we are still searching for home.  I don't know if home will be here or back in Missouri.  But I know that as a family we will find home together

Moki